Where do you want to be?

    The other day, when helping one of the equipped lifters in the gym, I noticed how he panicked and lost position while benching. This is a totally normal thing for people learning to use a bench shirt. Me, being overly cerebral in my choice of words, reaffirmed that he wanted to be there. He thought I meant the gym, but I further specified, there, literally under heavy weight being squished by polyester to perform some contrived feat of strength. I don’t think it landed well for him, but it resonated with me and my past present and future perspective on activities.

    Candace has highlighted before that I “enjoy suffering”. I’ll agree, as long as it is carefully dosed and mostly due to my own choices. Controlling suffering and stress is how you grow a system. You load it, it recovers, repairs and improves, then you load it some more. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, all these systems can be loaded and repaired in order to improve the quality of them. Given enough will power, anyone can will themselves through a structured system to improve these traits, but the end of will is burnout. Honestly asking the question, of where you want to be, might reveal the best actions for you to take in your life to sustainably improve yourself and enjoy your life. 

    Let’s examine the equipped bench press. I’ve often likened it to standing on a basketball, which is something I’ve never done, so maybe that is an unfair comparison. You have a few major players here: gravity which is pulling everything down, your shirt, which when loaded in the correct position provides compression due to a resistance to deformation, and then you, driving the whole system. You are responsible for placing these opposing forces of gravity and equipment in equilibrium to perform the action and the reverse the weight to “finish the task”. It is a delicate balance that requires nuanced body awareness, strength, and patience. At the time of my largest equipped bench presses, this balance was a sought after sensation. To control and exist between pressure control and balance to move something from point A to point B then back to point A was so simple yet so satisfying to perform. At the last powerlifting meet I competed at, someone commented on how long it took to touch the bar to chest and my ability to keep it all together for that duration while under that pressure from the weight and the equipment. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was only able to do that because I wanted to be there. It was one of the things I had grown to appreciate all the components of and how they existed in perfect balance to perform an action.

    I was good at this task because I wanted to be in the task. I have since found that with many other activities as I explore the world of physicality and presence. The important thing here is the honesty I have had with myself on my journey. Do I want to be here, doing this thing? Sometimes you need to ask yourself this question before, after and during the action to get a balanced answer, depending on the intensity of the activity at hand. Either way, you need to find your motivation and evaluate your reasons and wants related to the task and ask yourself “Do I really want to be here?” then let your answer move your life.